Gender equality

 

The issue of why MTF transvestism is more stigmatized than FTM is often discussed in the light of gender equality. Why is it embarassing when a man wears a dress, while it is completely normal for a woman to wear a full set of male clothing? The answer we often hear is that a man wearing a dress is lowering himself to the status of a woman, while a woman wearing male clothes is raising herself to the level of a man. In other words, we are told, women are worth less than men in the the eyes of society.

 

This is a total misconception! I think it is extremely important that we address this issue clearly. Men do take all the privileges in society, yes. Men are spoiled, yes. Men are used to being treated as superiors, yes. But it is a far cry from believing than men are worth more than women. I feel it should be obvious to everyone that women, in general, are worth more than men. Consider the following examples.

 

Let us imagine a violent crime, say a street robbery where the victim gets murdered. If the victim is a man, it is a terrible thing. But if the victim is a woman, then for most people, men and women alike, the crime appears much more brutal, heinous and inhuman. In a hostage scenario, if a the criminal releases the women and retains the men as hostages, this is not very unusual. But if the criminal were to release the men and keep the women as hostages, this would be more or less unthinkable. A man who gets into a fight and beats up another man is uncivilized, but a man who beats up a woman is a simple barbarian, less than human.

 

It is no coincidence that women are grossly underrepresented in our prisons. It is no coincidence that the Church expounds virtues which are traditionally seen as feminine. It is no coincidence that in a country like Liberia, it is electing a female president which is seen as the great turning point towards saving the country. It is no coincidence that women in general are more likely to work for a sustainable ecology, for social justice, tolerance and peace. Women are more likely to be vegans.

 

In society, there can be no doubt whatsoever that women are the net contributors, in every way. Not only do they biologically contribute life, but they are also socialized to contribute more than they receive in every other way. Men, on the other hand, simply reap the fruits of this, by taking more than they contribute.

 

So when we as tgirls try to identify with women, we are not "lowering" ourselves. We are trying to raise ourselves morally and aesthetically to the level of women. Why is stigmatized, why is it embarassing? For three very clear reasons.


Firstly, if we are born into the privileged gender, and want to switch to the contributing gender, it means relinquishing all the privileges we are born with, which we are well aware are unfair, but which are treated as given facts by both men and women. Transitioning from male to female is not lowering oneself, but it is a kind of self-sacrifice, sacrificing the privileges and comforts of being male for the hardship of being female. And in our egoistic society (especially male society, of course!), we always look a bit askance at anyone who sacrifices their own interests.

 

Secondly, it is embarassing because we are generally not good at it. A man dressed as a woman without passing is a sad copy, or even a parody, of the higher moral and aesthetic status of women. It is not the MTF transition in itself which could be embarassing. It is the fact that there is no way to transition without passing through a very painful stage where we represent a grotesque parody of womanhood.

 

Thirdly, when we start on our journey of feminization, it is often the outer trappings of femininity which come first. The clothing, the appearance. But do we know that we have a feminine soul? Do we understand that which is the real core of being a woman? It is probably very easy to be misled into going through the surface motions of being feminine without actually being or thinking feminine in any real sense inside. An until we really think feminine, we are just surface copies, and are easily read.

 

But none of this implies that being a tgirl involves lowering oneself.  In fact, it is completely inconceivable that anyone would be a tgirl unless she is completely convinced that women are better than men. In some real sense, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.